How To Dodge A Douchebag
In truth, the douchebag is more a persona than a person-it’s an attribute that we all possess to some degree, but then there are the douchebags of the highest degree that you will want to stay well away from.
In this article, we won’t be playing dodge ball. Oh no, ladies (and gentlemen) this is where we play dodge the douchebag!
Disclaimer: No actual physical dodging will be recommended in this article. 🙂
Here are some mindful ways to dodge a douchebag:
Introducing The Douchebag!
The douchebag can be that arrogant, inconsiderate guy who always comes up short on class, courtesy and has trouble following through. The douchebag thinks far too highly of himself and may have Altera motives.
He’s consistently inconsistent, disappointing in many areas-and he has an unsettling talent for saying the wrong thing. He’s hardly a keeper, and in the long run, his company’s not that much better than dating a frog.
Yet, we can’t seem to cut him off entirely. Because even when we break up with a douchebag, he resurfaces in the next relationship-but in a different wrapper and he’s still up to no good.
If every guy you’ve dated lately has been a d-bag-give or take a few traits-and it just doesn’t add up why the odds seem to be against you in the dating game, then it’s time to get him out of the picture for good! And the best way to do that is to look at the common denominator in all of those go-nowhere relationships you’ve been in.
But before we go there, let’s look at the douchebag itself. Do we even know how or why the name of a feminine product (created by men) by the way, revolved into a slur against them?
And do we know why it’s become accepted behavior among adults to insult each other by throwing the names of genitalia around?
It bares a much deeper discussion, but it’s important to look at the labels we use, especially when it comes to relationships gone wrong.
Let’s say I call my girlfriend, Alice, crying at the bust-up of my latest relationship – “Johnny’s a dick, an ass-hole, a cheater and a douchebag!!!”. At that moment, I’m hurt and too fired up to take a serious look at what went wrong. So, I get a pass for not being rational. And because Alice understands my pain-because we know who to reach for in those moments-she knows I’m distraught and as a friend she only wants me to feel better.
So, naturally, she’ll be like, Yeah, he’s a douchebag.
Douchebag, bub-bye!
Breakup fallout scenarios go like this often enough, but it’s what happens in the aftermath that lingers. In the words of Red, that Shawshank jailbird sage, it’s up to us to either ‘get busy livin’ or get busy dyin’.’
If we stay stuck on blame, then we’re choosing the latter.
The best way to ensure that we choose differently the next time is by doing it consciously.
Both parties, male or female are as capable of hurting their partners with douche-baggy behavior as they are of being hurt by them. It’s too easy to lay blame for our broken hearts at the feet of a few badly behaved partners.
So, it’s our responsibility to check ourselves (before we wreck ourselves!) by honoring the parts we played in our own dating demise; therein lies one of the keys to changing your relationship blueprint.
Here are some more tips to help dodge a douchebag:
#1. Ask Yourself: “Am I a douchebag magnet?
This might seem like a bizarre (and insulting) question to ask yourself, however, it is not uncommon for us ladies to go for the bad boy douchebag type, because they seem far more exciting! The old saying goes “treat em mean, keep em keen” can work on the female brain; but the mind games and the lustful attraction will eventually show it’s true colors. Don’t get comfortable dating douchebags and start training your brain towards the real men that will treat you right.
#2. Self Acknowledgment
After you have asked yourself “Am I a douchebag magnet?”- now it’s time to acknowledge your dating patterns and choices in who you date. As said earlier on, you may have dodged a douchebag now, but until you realize and acknowledge why you think you date these types of men, then again, the douchebag will reappear, but just in a different wrapper!
#3. Take Responsibility
A big question we must ask ourselves, especially when we want to point fingers (particularly the middle one) at our partners is, “What’s mine?”…”What role did I play in this situation?”. After all, he may not even be a douchebag, and it could be that we are the douchebags!
Being responsible for our own messes, as well as our happiness and clear communication goes a long way in helping us stay present in our relationships, rather than leaving it to the other person to guess at what’s in our mind and heart.
#4. Value Yourself More Than You Value The Douchebag
If you think you’re dating a douchebag and you deserve better – then you do! Don’t make excuses for this douchebag, and don’t justify his douchey behavior. Instead, value yourself and take control over what you let happen to yourself. And if you’re still in doubt, always watch out for his actions and not his douche-baggy words that are just merely covered in toxic sugar, that’s aimed to manipulate you right where he wants you.
#5. Read the Red Flags early
The best way to dodge a douchebag is to read the signs early on! The douchebag as mentioned can possess many qualities like arrogance, narcissism, and he could even be the playboy type that can easily charm the pants off you before you realize,” SHIT!…I’m dating a douchebag!” Prevention is key to dodging a douchebag, and knowing the signs will give you the tools you need to dodge any unwanted douchebags that come your way. However, sometimes this just comes down to life experience, and the only way to dodge a douchebag is to date one! But to help, read 13 Red Flags You’re Daying A Player
If all these mindful tactics fail in dodging douchebags, then distract them by telling them their doppelganger look-alike is in the room, then run to the nearest exit! If this fails… then, screw it, grab the nearest non-deadly object and throw it their way – and dodge them as fast as you can!
Happy douchebag dodging everybody!
Please share your own experiences with dodging a douchebag in the comment section below or share this article with your friends on social media who need to dodge their own douchebag. ♥
Emmy is the founder and content writer at woopdedo. With a background in the performing arts, she then had a career working on cruise ships, until she decided to return to NZ where she spends most of her time storytelling and freelance writing. You can contact her on the social media links below or visit the work with us page.
