“Dancing to me is like having sex on stage“- Sam Mcleod.

This is one talented artist who is an energetic and vivacious triple threat! Sam Mcleod dances, sings, performs and paints among many other creative endeavors. Sam opens up about how dancing is like having sex on stage and his unique view on his father’s suicide.

I met Sam McLeod at the Wellington Performing Arts center when we were both aspiring performers. Sam majored in Dance and gained a certificate in musical theatre. We became close friends when he took on the role of a choreographer for a cabaret group I was involved in. While working with Sam Mcleod it was then I realized not only was he an exceptional talent, but one that knew talent was just one part of the recipe for a performers success.

Fast forward 10 years later and  I decide to catch up with Sam in the Sunny Bay Of Plenty New Zealand where he now lives teaching dance classes, while he continues to discover what life is all about.

Meet Sam McLeod!

Sam! You obviously have a love for performing and creating. Would dancing be your main passion?

Sam: I don’t know what passion is at the moment. I find that word difficult to answer.I’m instinctively drawn to what excites me and maybe that’s what passion is. However dance is a big part of my life, and sometimes I feel like dancing is like having sex on stage.

Sex on stage!?

Sam: Yes, there are dances that can be very literal.  How I view sex and what I appreciate about sex is almost exactly how I view dance! Sex and dancing are very physical. All the angles, positions and isolations are important for fun and interesting sex. You need confidence in your body to perform these, and the stronger, more flexible and controlled your body is the sexier it can be!

We pull from something within ourselves that’s beyond the physical plane to give intimacy, focus, and detail to please the who we are dancing for or who we are having sex with as well as ourselves. It’s a connection that’s physical but emotional as well.

SEx and dance can be varied, it can be rough, soft, fast, slow, lusting, lasting or quick! Each time and each partner has a different rhythm, a different story, and a different experience to offer.

What are some ingredients you think a performer needs apart from talent to succeed? 

Sam: It’s to know what success means for you. There are so many successes we don’t recognize within ourselves. I got broken down by others expectations of success so I gave up trying. Success changes too. It’s not a one-stop thing and you’re done. It’s a constant looking within yourself and redefining what success means to you. My advice for success would know what it is to you, get that success and start again with a rinse and repeat method.

So what gets you up in the morning?

Sam: Other peoples expectations. That is what gets me up. And paying my rent.I’m starting to figure out what money is and what it can do for me. I don’t like disappointing people and letting them down, so that was my trick. To put myself in situations where I don’t want to put people down, especially the ones I liked. So I developed a good work ethic as I would show up as a result of not wanting to let people down. Waking up in the morning for other peoples expectations served me well, but it was also very damaging. So now I wake up for me now, I want to wake up for my life.

As for self-motivation it comes and goes like the ocean waves!

Sam, you also paint?

Sam: I’d say I’m a creator as I do things instinctively, it comes in art, dancing, singing, people, projects like anything. Like walking along the beach and turning a piece of driftwood into a table. If it interests me to the point where I forget I’m self-conscious then that’s where I would find “passion”.

What do you think the role of an artist plays or contributes to society?

Sam: I’ve always wondered what art contributes and what it contributes to me. I just always knew it what something I wanted to do, and it came naturally. As to the connection with society and other people, I’m still figuring that one out. I know when people see any art whether it be a painting or a show that they experience something we can’t quite put words to. An artist taps into a part of a person that other things don’t. Or taps into a person that they can’t achieve through other mediums. I think movies are amazing for society, it lets someone have an idea of how someone else has lived. It can connect people to different experiences and emotions. It can allow on to dream and imagine.

My art, my dancing. my singing even, I leave it up to the other people. There’s a reason why they come and watch, but I have a disconnection to that. But I know entertainment is something that people need. There’s still a mystery in the world, and we create things to make people wonder or dream, to escape, entertained and to connect and relate to a character.

What performer inspires you the most?

Sam: Leigh Evans, my old teacher at drama school. She was one of the few people I had 100% respect for. And I would say PINK! I mean she sings upside down live while doing tricks. She’s rough and has a personality.

Now I know your Father passed away a few years ago through suicide. How did that interrupt your life, as that is a massive thing to go through.

Sam: At the time, I know I cried. But I didn’t have a huge relationship with my Dad. So I think a lot of what I was crying about was the stuff I didn’t do with him or the things he didn’t witness in my life. It was like “Wow he’s really gone“.  My Dad was one of those people that were completely capable of faking his own death. I know people think this is a joke, and it sounds weird but it sits with me so well. Maybe I’m in denial, but I dressed his body so I know he is gone. But my Dad was that much of an enigma to me and to a lot of people. He would disappear all the time.

Were there any signs from him growing up that he could ever commit such an act?

Sam: Some people would say that he was quite sad. But I think he died in the happiest part of his life and he just didn’t want it to go bad again. And he didn’t want anyone else to take that away from him, so he took control himself.

The one thing I think about my Dad is the Japanese move called Seppuku. Basically, it’s where they cut and lift their abdomen. So ultimately they’re choosing to commit suicide with honor, by either feeling like they failed in a battle or they couldn’t go back home or they didn’t want to be tortured by there enemies. That was a very OK and honorable way to die, and that is what sat with me. I like to think like that of my Dad. It was his decision and I like to trust in peoples decisions, even if they are a mistake.

How did that affect your mental health?

Sam: My sister said we have to “respect his decision“. So I was happy with that. My dad did things for reasons, and his reasons seemed obscure to everyone else, and I have a large bit of his engma and tendency for people to not really get what I’m doing. I think he had foresight as everything that he wanted for people happened after his death which was good. I think as strange as it sounds that he knew his decision would help the greater good for the family.

Do you suffer from any mental illness like your Dad?

Sam: Oh yeah, my vision of mental illness is completely different though. I’ve had two suicide attempts myself. One was instant as I’m an impulsive person. I attempted suicide as a young kid, then the pencils broke and that was that.

Then when I was older I tried again, but it was just a cry for help and I didn’t go through with it. I used to find a way to get attention. For me, it’s just life. For me, mental illness is a social term. When I think about it we all have brains and bodies. We can all get ill but everyone’s different in their brain chemistry. It’s just life and if I call it life that means everything encompasses in it and I have the choice to change it or give into it.

Everyones different, and if you see someone who doesn’t fit in, society labels them.

I think everyone has a little crazy in them, it just comes out in different ways.

If money was no option, what would you be doing?

Sam: I would only be creating, growing plants, building things and painting. I would help people. I would dance all the time and I would let as many people join me on that journey as possible.

What’s one thing you now know that you wish you knew 10 years ago?

Sam: To be selective with the people who you are obedient with. You don’t have to be obedient to everybody. You lose yourself when you are.

What’s one piece of advice that you can share with our readers?

Sam: Be honest about what you like and share it with people even if they find it disgusting. You can’t please everybody but at least you’ll find the people who are liked minded. Don’t play your truth down because people also need to hear what you have to say and it lets them know it’s OK. Always stay true to yourself and LOVE things!

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