Are you dating a player?
By now, we all know the playboy type (aka fuckboy); he’s charming, charismatic, and clever with his words. He loves himself, and he knows women love him too.
While a player may be fun for a while, there should be no place for him in a classy girl’s world.
Why?
Because you deserve better.
It’s easy to get blinded by the rose-tinted glasses in a new romance. However, you could be missing some red flags that are telling you, you’re dating a player.
The best way not to be played is by reading the signs early!
Here are 13 red flags you should never ignore if you think you’re dating a player.
#1. The players self-absorbed
This red flag even though so obvious, is easy to be hoodwinked by. (especially if you’re a sucker for the charm).
Narcissistic, charismatic, and egotistical are just some of the qualities he may possess.
He loves the sound of his own voice and he talks a good game. After a while, you may feel like your energy has been sucked right out of you. If this is the case, pay attention to how you feel around him and don’t get blindsided by his self-absorbed swagger.
#2. The players cheated before
They say once a cheater always a cheater! Well, I personally like to believe that people can change, but when he’s consistently justifying himself by saying he’s left his womanizing and bad reputation behind, and yet his own friends are warning you against him. RUN to the nearest exit or you could be next!
#3. The player doesn’t take you out on dates
If he hasn’t taken you out on a proper date, even if it’s just for a coffee and a walk in the park then you could be dating a player (and a cheap one at that!). If he doesn’t want to invest a few dollars in a coffee, then he’s not going to invest much of his emotions and time in the future.
This is a red flag he’s keeping it casual and doesn’t see the value that you are truly worth. (and that’s way more than a coffee).
#4. The player wants to meet up late at night
This is a red flag I’ve personally fallen for. If your guy is asking you to meet up with him at 10 pm for the first time after church in a car park where it’s quiet and dark. Ummm, maybe don’t do that. (Okay, I know, I wasn’t the smartest cookie).
Although going for late-night adventures sounds fun, this isn’t something to do if you’ve just started dating a guy. He’s clearly not respecting you and thinks he’s got it in the bag.
If he’s conveniently wanting late-night meetups at his house and he’s not taking you on proper dates or meeting you during the day when there are other human beings around then stop wasting your time cause girl, you’re dating a player and a BIG one at that.
#5. The players fast moving then slow burning
Right at the beginning of the romance, he will most likely be giving it 100%. His sun will shine on you, and your temperature will be hot! You’ll feel like he only has eyes for you.
He’s attentive, persistent, smooth-talking, and tells you exactly what you want to hear.
Your social media accounts will be bombarded with compliments in the wee hours of the morning. But at some point, the sun must go down, and it goes down quicker than you’re Mother’s home-cooked meatballs!
This drastic temperature drop in his attentive behavior is a sure red flag you’re on the edge of being …..played.
#6. The player doesn’t listen
He might listen to hear for his own pre-empt reaction, but he isn’t genuinely listening. The men who care about you will remember the little things that even you forgot to tell them.
If he’s not genuinely listening and asking more in-depth questions other than what bra size you are, then it sounds like he’s going to genuinely….ah….play you.
#7. The player always texts and uses social media instead of calling
It’s pretty much the norm these days to contact each other via texting/social media. But if the guy you’re dating is constantly hiding behind a screen instead of wanting to hear your voice even if it’s just for the odd “how was your day” convo then he could either be lazy, shy, or it’s a red flag this guy is playing you.
If he’s contacting you only through Snapchat, then say no more. Players love using Snapchat as all their playful banter disappears. (how convenient, right?)
If you try and start a conversation on another social media platform and he still insists on using Snapchat, then he’s not only a player but a total douchebag!
#8. The player talks about his exes too much
There’s nothing wrong with talking about the ex here and there, but when it’s on a first date, and he not only talks about one but three of them and two of them were models it’s like “Okay, cool story bruh“!
If his attention isn’t on you, but on his ex-girlfriends, then he’s not only a player but not over one of the exes.
#9. The player is resistant to letting you into his circle of friends
When you are truly interested and invested in someone you are proud to show them off to your family and friends. But when you invite the player into your world he’ll find excuses.
You could be his dirty little secret if he’s not weaving his world with yours after a while. If he makes plans with you and doesn’t follow through on a consistent basis, he’s either leading you on, has commitment issues or, hate to say it, but you’re dating a player.
#10. The player posts photos of himself with other girls on social media
I once knew a guy who would always post images of himself with other girls online like they were his trophies even though he was seeing someone. I felt they feed his Hugh Hefner-styled reputation and ego even more.
Deep down if a guy needs that much ego-boosting, and gets a kick-off on how many likes he has on his philandering social media photos then it’s a sign of some major insecurities, or well, you guessed it he’s a player.
#11. The player gets sexual too fast
- If the majority of his compliments are “you’re so sexy” or “you have nice boobs” then he has one thing on his mind.
- If he’s asking for seductive images then, he has one thing on his mind.
- If he’s trying to get it on with you then, he’s proving he has one thing on his mind.
- If the first thing he does is put on Netflix and starts kissing you without any depth of a conversation.
PLAYER ALERT!!!
#12. The player ghosts you
Have you been on a few dates and think things are going well, then all of a sudden…POOF – he turns into a ghost, leaving you to ponder where he went?
If so, you are not alone. Sadly, ghosting people has become a social norm these days. If he’s ghosted you, this is a sign you were dating a guy who can’t man up, he doesn’t know what he wants, or he’s playing the field.
#13. The player is guarded with their phone
If the guy your seeing seems secretive, defensive, or guards his phone like a crow, then he’s probably got something to hide which means you shouldn’t wait around long enough to find out – because chances are you’re dating a player.
Ladies, don’t get played
Dating a player might seem fun at first but this can lead to heartache and can ruin your self-confidence.
If a guy you’re dating isn’t investing his time, money, or emotions and shows any of these signs, date with caution and don’t be taken in by his irresistible charm. Watch out for his actions, and not his sugar-coated words because you deserve better! x
What are some of the signs of a player that you’ve experienced? Share them below.
Emmy is the founder and content writer at woopdedo. With a background in the performing arts, she then had a career working on cruise ships, until she decided to return to NZ where she spends most of her time storytelling and freelance writing. You can contact her on the social media links below or visit the work with us page.
